IF ONLY

 Looking back, it appears that when I'm dis-satisfied with my life and weight, the IF ONLY mindset has ruled the day.  In 2003, we were living in Salem and I thought "if only" Walter had a full-time church Pastoral appointment things would be better. We moved to Florida in 2004, where I thought that I would be able to lose my weight and my health would improve.  Well, that didn't happen! I weighed 427 when we moved there and did nothing but Yo-Yo my way up to 478 over the course of the three years that followed.  As I struggled to lose the weight, I discovered that I hated the heat, I hated how different it was from Virginia, I hated that in order for my husband to be successful I had to "not hate" the people.  Again, the underlying mindset of "if only" took over. If only, I could "go home" I'd be able to lose weight and everything would be okay.....but going home was not an option.  It's a long story, but in the middle of a seemingly good situation (aside from me not being able to lose any weight) God used very painful and very unexpectedly events to uproot us from Florida, and did, indeed, let me GO HOME! Was I soooo happy that I immediately started losing weight? NO!  Being an emotional/stress eater, I continued to gain weight in response to a whole new set of stressors! The anger and frustration over not understanding what God was doing, Walter's unemployment, my inability to work and my weight-issues were all pretty overwhelming. Walter finally found a job, and a year later, had a heart attack! Walter's recovery was slow and my weight continued to climb!  At 513lbs the "if only's" were everywhere! I even thought, "If only" things would have been different in Florida!  What foolish creatures we are!  Looking back, I truly believe that just as God allowed Joseph to be sold into slavery for His Purposes, He has orchestrated the events in our lives to bring me to today. YES, He moved us 500miles in order for my son to meet a WS patient who had lost 200lbs. That was the spark of HOPE that he was searching for to help me lose weight.  I don't believe in chance, fate or coincidences! God knows what's he's doing! We're the one's that are in the dark, floundering around, entertaining thoughts of "if only" this, and "if only" that. I truly believe that it was God's plan that led me to The Weigh Station in December, 2009! It is His Plan that has put me here today, and will lead me through all of my tomorrows!  

Of course I've been tempted to think  "if only" I had met Dr. Shaffer earlier, but then we wouldn't have learned the lessons that God had for us along the way.

NO MORE 'IF ONLYS"! 

I choose to Live, Love and Learn everything
God has for me today!